How to Improve Communication in a Relationship – Long Distance Way

How to Improve Communication in a Relationship – Long Distance Way

Communication in Long Distance Relationship(Image credit by PEXELS: Pixabay)

Communication is one of the most vital points in making a relationship work, especially for long distance. If communication is dead, many problems will start to arise, mainly misunderstanding and friction of distance. It is very important that every couple, be it long distance or close distance to communicate every day to keep the relationship going strong!

Make sure that when you communicate with your love one, you have to ask each other important questions like life goals, dreams, hobbies etc.

Talk about meaningful things, get to know each other well!

Here are 5 vital keys that we do to keep our communication going well:

1) Devices and application for communicating

Back in the early 90s, the technology was not as advance as the current generation. I remember my friend Jake who is from Germany told me that he and his wife who is from USA, used to just send email once a day with his wife to keep their relationship going! He and his wife make sure that every email they sent is long and meaningful for each other.

As for me and my husband, in our time when we met at August 2015, we already have a much more advance communication devices and apps compare to my friend Jake who just relied on email. Both of us uses smartphone as our main device of communication and Messenger application from Facebook for our main app of communication. We chose messenger cause there is a floating chat head so we can play games and chat through messenger at the same time.

In the recent days, we are using Discord app too so we can communicate with each other and play our game at the same time.

The phone I use is Huawei Nova Plus, for non tech savvy and budget tight person like me, I can tell you that it is good enough to chat and play game with my love one. What I really like about this phone is that even though I play games and chat with my love one. The phone still stays cool and the battery doesn’t die really fast. I think it’s worth it for the price that you pay!

As for my husband who is more of an addict player with a budget tight situation, he uses Xiaomi Mi-Max 2. It is a budget phone for gamers as I have read from other reviews too before we decided to buy it. The battery capacity for this phone is monstrous. It really suits him who plays a lot, thus he doesn’t have to charge and play at the same time (which is dangerous)! Click here now to get the device that you need to communicate with your love one!

2) Ask meaningful questions

This is very important especially when you are just starting your relationship! Yes it is important to ask your love one what he or she likes to eat, hobby, favorite color and songs but don’t end it just here. But don’t end your conversation with just these kinds of topics of knowing each other similarities, you have to go in-depth with each other too. Ask him or her questions like:

What are your short term goals?

Ask each other what plan or goals do they have in mind to achieve within these 1-3 years.

What are your long term goals?

Ask each other what they see themselves in 10 years’ time, see if they have you in their future plan

What are your views about relationship?

Like do you plan to start a family and have children or do either of you not want children

What do you think about me?

After dating each other for quite a while, this is a must ask question. You might get a generic answer like “I think you are funny, pretty/handsome”. Try to go deeper by asking questions like “why do you think I am funny, what part of my personality cheers you up?”

What do you feel about me?

Think and feel is two different things. So don’t get confuse with them! If you ask this questions too early, you probably can’t get an answer because it does take a while for people to get to know more about each other after. But after dating for a period of time, even with long distance, you can still feel if he or she is the one that you want to spend the latter half part of your life and you would want to make sure that your partner feels the same way!

I’ve got this reference in what questions to ask from a book called Think Like a Man, Act Like a Lady by Steve Harvey. I think it is a great book to read for understanding more about men and how they think about relationship. And you can really apply what the content to a long distance relationship situation too. Since this is what I did and it worked! Click Here to get a copy of the book now! (I highly suggest you to read it)

3) Don’t run away from arguments!

This is VERY IMPORTANT! No matter what arguments it is, DO NOT run away from it or keep it inside of you. Always talk it out with each other and make sure that you always try your very best to not carry the arguments overnight. It is one of the key points for couples to have a long-lasting relationship by facing through disagreement and arguments together.

Remember that having arguments once in a while, is a prove that your relationship is healthy (although during the fight, it feels really painful for the heart). Every time you and your partner make it through an argument, the two of you just went a step forward in building a stronger relationship.


Communication is very important(Photo credit by PEXELS: Rosie Ann)

4) Keep the communication going everyday

You can tell if your partner if he or she is serious in this relationship with you by seeing their effort in trying to stay in contact with you whenever they have a free time. I myself do not believe in someone saying “I have no time to contact you today because of I’m too busy.” I call this a bull!

There is always a time for someone you love, no matter how busy they are. It’s only a matter of priority. If your partner sets each other as their main priority, this will show that you two sees each other as important part of life for each other and appreciate, feeling grateful that you have one another. In just one day of not communicating each other, you will feel the missing of each other.

If your partner always says that he or she is too busy and have no time for you, you have to take this as a red flag that they are likely not that into you because they only look for you when they have no one else to talk to.

Keep the communication going doesn’t mean that the two of you must stay in contact 24/7, not wanting to hang up the phone. Remember it is important to keep a balance lifestyle and don’t just revolve your world around each other only.

5) Complement, be grateful and say “I love you” to each other

Don’t forget to tell each other how much you love each other and how grateful you are to have each other every day. Women may need this more than guys because a lot of us are generally more insecure about ourselves. Even the strong woman will still feel touched when the person they love express their love for her.

As for ladies, remember that your man like to feel like they are a man especially for you who is their only one. When he did something to make you smile and happy, remember to tell him how grateful you are to have him and how much you love him. Don’t just keep it inside that you’re happy, tell him how you really feel, because your man is very likely not a psychic that can read your mind.

I love you(Photo credit by PEXELS: Pixel2013)

In Conclusion

Communication is one of the very most important key to keep a relationship going and healthy. Get a device and app that is working so you two have the medium to communicate, don’t just ask about hobbies and favorite things. Ask more in-depth questions too like plans and goals.

Do not run away from arguments and communicating every day is a must. Finally, don’t forget to tell each other how much you love each other!

Click HERE to find out How to Make Long Distance Relationship Works!

Hope you enjoy reading this post and it has help you out. If there are any questions and suggestions, please drop a comment right below!






12 thoughts on “How to Improve Communication in a Relationship – Long Distance Way

  1. Thank you for this post. As a former military member, I know first hand how hard it is to keep a long-distance relationship healthy. Communication was always an issue. I agree that technology has made this easier, but I also think that it’s still up to those in the relationship to keep the communication going.

  2. Your article is spot on! Having gone through a long distance relationship, myself, spanning years, I’ve used a lot of the same strategies you’ve outlined here.

    Choose a mode of communication. Communicate as often as that technology will allow. Talk about anything and everything. Get to know one another through your stories. Be respectful, earnest, and authentic. But always, learn to be a listener. And most of all, just be there for each other.

    I grew up at a time when landline phones were our most advanced mode of getting in touch. Often, we didn’t have to say anything. Just knowing that through the distance, we were both at opposite ends of that line, was sublimely comforting.

    Today, kids don’t seem to see any value in long-distance romance. One millennial told me, “What’s the point?” Well, the point is, if you care for someone deeply enough, distance might just be the glue that cements your relationship. But in a world where instant gratification and living in the moment are the norm, the promise of a love waiting for you at some distant shore does not sound too appealing. A shame. They will never experience the joy of finally achieving something that you’ve long waited for.

    Thank you for sharing this article.


    1. I think because of the current technology right now, everything is very fast pace and people are expecting a lot of things from doing little stuff. I guess that’s why the millennial you met told you “What’s the point?”

      And I totally agree with you in be there for each other, that’s why communication is really important. Even with all the distance, it is indeed comforting that there is someone who is always there for you and who loves you for who you are.

      It is not easy to attain but once the two of you achieve it, the bond will be stronger than any other.

      Thank you for dropping by Louie, I really appreciate it!

  3. Communication is important. But, trust is also very important in a relationship, too.

    I have to admit that I was in a longterm relationship for about a year or so. It didn’t work because overtimes our communication slowly but surely slowed down. Meaning, we used to talk daily. Then, it switched to every other day, and finally every 3-4 days.

    The conversation wasn’t all that meaningful and I could tell the relationship was dead after a while.

    In terms of meaningful questions. I have to admit I am good at small talk, but keeping a longer conversation can seem difficult sometimes. Do you have any tips for making conversations longer, though?

    1. Yes, you can check out HERE in how to make long distance work. I’ve mention about some of the most importance key in making long distance relationship works.

      To keep making conversation longer, you have to go in depth like getting know more in-depth about your partner’s life and have a bigger plan with your love one like setting a meet up.

      Thank you for dropping by Garen!

  4. This is great information! I was married to a wonderful man who traveled for work extensively. I saw him a couple weekends a month, which for me was okay. I was secure in the relationship…or so I thought. But I look back on our conversations, and they were probably the killer to it all. I got to where I didn’t even want to talk to him because he always wanted to talk about the SAME things. He didn’t listen and want to discuss anything else.

    1. Thank you for dropping by! I’m sorry to hear that it didn’t work out that well. In this kind of situation, like the saying goes ‘it requires two hands to clap’. If one always refuse to listen, it will put a toll on the other person as you don’t see each other and just relying through text.
      It is important too to tell what you feel instead of bottle it up, but if either party always doesn’t want to listen and work it out, it will be tough.

  5. Hi Alicia.
    Thank you for this article. I know that long distance relationships can be very difficult and it is really important to keep as many channels of communication open as possible. That’s the case for relationships of all kinds in my opinion.
    One thing that I also think is important to recognise, is that often people have different ways of expressing love – some people need to be told they are loved, some people need to be bought gifts before the feel loved. Understanding how you and your partner express love will go a long way to keep relationships going, especially if you don’t see your partner face-to-face that often.
    Thanks for the tips. Gail

    1. Thank you for dropping Gail, yes I agree about different people have different ways of expressing love. I am currently working on the post about love language and how it can apply to long distance relationship.

  6. This is very sweet and very true if you want to have a loyal, committed and happy relationship. You make a good point when you said that back in the day, people didn’t have technology to communicate as much as we do now, so we need to take advantage of this! The only problem I see with using phones so much in a long distance relationship, is that what happens when you finally are face to face with the person whom *you love* – after speaking with them only via messenger for weeks, how do you feel around them? Nervous? Excited? Relieved or are you awkward and nervous and don’t know how to act? I say this because I had an experience one time long ago where I met someone online and started a long distance relationship with them. We chatted everyday online. I guess back then there was no Skype so all we had was IMs but we did snail mail our pictures to each other…. yeah it was like that. But when we finally met up, it was me who was so awkward & goofy, and my guy was all cool and collected, but didn’t seem very happy or interested in me when face to face, which led to my awkwardness… I mean, I would expect to be to be hugged & kissed and showered with affection. You also made a good point to say to make sure the other person feels loved, because I did not feel loved. Sad to say that after our meeting we didn’t continue to chat or talk after that. I guess chemistry is a factor too. But nowadays I think with video chatting and all that, you can pretty much determine if you will be sexually attracted to the person for real, or not

    1. When we had our first meet up in Malaysia, I was having the feeling to nervous, awkward and love at the same time, I don’t know how to describe it either. But after that I feel comfortable with him on our second meeting. The more we meet the harder it was for us to part.
      As for his side, he hugged me so tight on our first meet up that I felt lightened up, he gave me the sense that I can trust him.
      I’m sad to hear that it didn’t turn out well for you at that time but what’s more important is you’re happy right now!

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