Long distance relationship is not easy. This is the truth. But this doesn’t mean it is impossible for it to work out. Just like any other relationship, it requires hard work, commitment, care and love from both side of the parties. There goes the saying of ‘it takes two hands to clap’.
Here are 5 keys in how to make a long distance relationship work:
It is very important for you and your partner to communicate well with each other. Make sure that you two spend at least like one hour a day to keep in touch and catch up with each other. Regardless if you two have different time zone or different work hour. There is always a time that you can find for the person your love. The same goes for your partner. He/she will always have the time for the person they love.
One important note though, if you two just text, remember that text has no emotion. Sometimes couple fight because of misunderstanding. Thanks to the current technology, chat apps now has stickers, emojis and gifs to help you express how you feel even better. Be sure to make use of that!
When you two communicate, be sure to respect one another too, even when you two fight, avoid using vulgar and words that can really hurt your partner.
Get to the real talk! Like asking each other what they like, dislike, their goals, plans in life, work, family etc. Be honest with each other.
Lastly, call or video call each other if you can. Make use of whichever sources that you can use for you two to keep in touch.
Trust is very important not only in long distance relationship, but also in close distance ones. When you trust the person you love, you don’t doubt him or her and you don’t overthink and create all these negative imagination like he/she is lying to you, cheating on you, faking the love for you.
Overthinking usually leads to spat, fights and misunderstanding cause your mind is clouded by imagination of what he or she MIGHT have done without you knowing.
Trust is probably one of the hardest thing to achieve in a long distance relationship cause with the two of you that is far apart, you don’t get to see what your partner is doing or like going out on a date once a week.
For this, most women are easier to feel insecure, because women’s brain works like a bundle of wire clump together, making everything connect to each other and thus create an overthinking mindset that can lead to fights and misunderstanding (I know this well because I’m a woman too!)
As for men, because most of them think in like boxes of categories, they are usually more calm and feeling secure and trust their love ones naturally as long as she spends quality time with him, communicate with him, give him your trust.
So how can you tell if your partner is someone that can be trusted? If he/she does most of these traits, then he/she is serious in wanting to make this work out with you:
- Your partner always have time to communicate and spend quality time with you in most of the days.
- He/she doesn’t run away when there’s problems or fights.
- Make an effort in wanting to meet you even though you’re far across the distance.
- Concern about your well-being, listening to your good and bad day moments.
- Showering you with lots of love to make you feel secure.
Any relationship won’t work out if there is no love. Especially in long distance relationship. But before you were to love someone, you’ve got to fill yourself with love first. If not, how are you going to give love your partner if your cup is empty to begin with right?
Don’t revolve your life around that one person, like only waiting for his or her reply or to spend time with you. You have to make yourself grow to as a person. For example, on the times after your work and you two are not spending time together, go find a book to read to improve yourself, or go hang out with your friends and have fun, trying out new things.
Don’t wait for your partner to make your life feel complete. That’s your job, not his or hers. When you are happy yourself and feeling fulfilled, you are able to stand by your love one and support them when they need you.
When you just sit down, do nothing but wait for them to text you and show their love to you, you’ll feel anxiety strikes you, followed by insecurities and possibly disappointment. After all, you’ll feel the clock tick slower when you’ve got nothing to do.
You feel life will get even better when you can give love especially to the person you cherish the most. And when you’re happy, you feel that nothing can get in the way between you two.
4) A Plan to Meet
After knowing each other for several months, the two of you must have a plan to meet up for each other. If the two of you are from different countries or continent, you can meet up in the center, travel together, explore new cities and new adventure. For example, I am an Indonesian and my husband is a Filipino. We made a plan for our first meet up to be in Malaysia to be fair and to make sure each of us are putting an effort into flying to meet up with each other.
After the first meet up, make sure that by now both of your families or close friends know that you two are into this long distance relationship. After all, you may need support from them emotionally.
And in the future meet up when the two of you are visiting each other’s country, make sure that your partner is introducing you to their family and/or close friends. A person who is not serious in the relationship, generally will not want you to know people who they are close with for less attachment.
Ideally, the two of you should try to meet up once every 3 months, but if this is beyond the capability of the two of you, then make it every 6 months or 9 months.
5) One Same Goal in Life
Lastly, in the end of any long distance relationship, one or the other will have to make a sacrifice to move to their country of where they live. Or the two of you move to a different country together, both find a new job as an overseas worker or if you are capable enough, start a new business together. This one will be harder though especially if you’re like us, the couple from South-East Asia Islands.
Both of you have to have the same goal in wanting to make this work to like living together, getting married or have your own family.
As a long distance relationship couple, especially if you’re both from different country, you two are open enough to accept new culture, language, environment, food and living style.
In my case, I decided to let go of my life here in Indonesia and start my new journey with my husband in Philippine and he is ready to accept my indifference and make things work 🙂
All in all…
The main key in how to make long distance relationship work is to communicate well, have trust in one another, give love to each other, plan a meet up and have the goal of making it a close distance relationship be it through living together, marriage or build a family together.
I hope this post can help those who are going through long distance relationship. Best of luck to all the long distance couple out there.
If there is any suggestion or topic that you would like me to talk about. Please drop by at the comment section below. I would like to help you in any way possible.