The Five Love Language – Can it Help Long Distance Relationship?

The Five Love Language – Can it Help Long Distance Relationship?

For those of you who doesn’t know what is the five love language is, it is a research done by Gary Chapman, a relationship, marriage expert counselor who had helped countless of couples improve and heal their relationship.

According to Gary Chapman, each of us have a different type of languages on how we express our love. That’s why sometimes in a relationship, couples face through unnecessary arguments or one of the other couples doesn’t feel loved.

The 5 love languages are: Acts of service, Words of affirmation, Quality time, Receiving gifts and Physical touch.

Now can they apply to long distance relationship too? The answer is YES! Although, there is slight different ways of implementing it. But you still follow the general concept of the 5 love language.

What does the five love language means?

1) Acts of Service

People who value acts of service are people who sees actions speaks louder than words. Meaning to say, they perceive love when you do an act of kindness or help for them instead of just saying things in words only. For example, your love one have a bad day today at work, he or she come home really sad and gloomy, instead of just telling them how much you love them, you make them a hot chocolate or dinner to try cheer them up. Make them relax after they come home from a tiring day, sit next to them, accompany them so they feel that there is someone there for them and they can stand strong to fight through the tough moments of life.

How can you apply this in long distance relationship?

This one will be a bit of challenge since acts of service requires actions. Which is a little limited for couples who are not physically together all the time. But here are some ideas that you can do for your love one whose love language is acts of service:

  • When they are going through bad day, spare a time for him or her even if you are busy just to call them or even text them. Give all of your full attention to them for even a short 15 minutes. Your love one will very much appreciate the effort you put in just for trying to be there for them.
  • In a modern social media world, it is very common for people to talk mean things via comments, online gaming chats and many other platforms even when you’re not doing anything. I was once attacked by cyber sexual harassment in one of the game we’re playing just because I am a girl that plays online games. My husband, who was my boyfriend at that time, immediately defended me and didn’t allow that sexual harasser to do what he did to me. They have an argument before the sexual harasser decided to leave the channel.

2) Words of Affirmation

People who value words of affirmation in their love language are people who need to see and hear words in order for them to feel love so, text and call your love one very often! People whose love language is word of affirmation are likely to survive long distance relationship because they can make it through from your words of assurance such as:

  • Telling your love one how much you love him/her.
  • Assuring them that you are willing to wait till the day that you two can live together.
  • Telling them the stories of your daily life.
  • Or even writing a song for them with lyrics that you really meant for them.

3) Quality Time

This love language is about giving your partner your undivided attention. Meaning to say that you make a certain amount of time free for your love one and spend time together without other distractions. Your partner will feel love the most when you two do an activity together.

There is a challenge for long distance relationship when it comes to spending quality time with your love one especially when the two of you have a big difference in your time zone. But regardless, still make out an hour or two for your love one just to keep in touch and do activities together. Thanks to the current development of the technology, spending quality time together is now easier like:

  • Playing actions games together that requires teamwork. My personal favorites are like PUBG Mobile or MOBAs game (5v5) games such as Mobile Legend and Heroes Evolved.
  • If the two of you have PC or laptop you can even go for teamwork games like Battle Royale: Fortnite and Overwatch.
  • If you prefer games that has suspense and a little horror theme into it, then the two of you can try Dead by Daylight too.
  • The two of you can also go for a “challenge each other” games to spend quality time such as Monopoly app, LIFE or online chess games and scrabble.
  • If none of you like games then you can opt for exercising together through video calls or watch movies together by playing the same movies at the same time.

4) Receiving Gifts

For some people, what makes them feel loved the most is receiving gifts. This does not mean that they are gold digger or materialistic. In fact, just a small gifts or even writing your own poems or quote will already make them feel very much loved.

Now the next question is how you can send gift to your love one if you are not living on the same place. The answer is simple, you can now order online and ask them to ship it to your love one. Here are some gifts ideas that you can give:

Or you can ask them what they need and help them by purchasing it for them.

5) Physical Touch

Nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch for people whose love language is physical touch. This mean they feel love the most when they are holding hand, hugs, kisses and making love. This is the hardest to achieve if you are in a long distance relationship as it requires a physical presence. If your love language is physical touch, this will be tough on you as it requires lots of patience and hanging on to your love one.

I highly suggest that the two of you plan a meet up as often as possible and make it a long stay. You can click here to see how we plan our first meet up.

In Conclusion

Does understanding your partner love language helps you in your long distance relationship? The answer is a big YES! The quality of your relationship will improve when you understand you and your partner’s love language. Whether it is Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch or Receiving Gifts.

I highly suggest that the two of you take the 5 Love Language Quiz HERE. Its FREE!

And click HERE to go read the book together to understand this even more!

5 thoughts on “The Five Love Language – Can it Help Long Distance Relationship?

  1. Wow, wouldn’t the world be a much happier place if this applied to all relationships not just love relationships. Some very sound advice here. I need to try to remember these 5 steps when I meet someone new in the future.

  2. This is a great post. Me and my husband met when we were 21 at University. Once our courses were over he moved back home to France and I stayed in the UK. We had a long distance relationship for over a year and somehow made it work. We were young and only seen each other for a weekend every few months but we applied a lot the advice you have given in this post. It really worked as we are now married with 2 kids 15 years on. Spontaneous acts of love and kindness kept us going for sure. Also a surprise gift didn’t go unnoticed 🙂 Great post and great advice for any couples.

  3. Brilliant thought I must say, you have done a great thing by simplifying the act of love and how to express it.
    Thanks for such a good post on love.

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